Did you see the final report about Prince’s death? Painkiller addiction. And guess why?
All I ever heard, it was from jumping down from up high on stage, and he hurt his legs or feet or whatever.
But also it now reports he had pain and numbness in his hands; that he probably wouldn’t be able to play and perform on piano and guitar without pain relievers.
So basically I’m guessing he had carpel tunnel … although they didn’t use those words. And again, I don’t want to make up something that is not verified, but …
People have no idea how painful and debilitating carpel tunnel is. Not to mention the fact that the hands just don’t work.
Forget muscle memory … ever again. Because it is like the nerves that connected to the brain have been permanently severed.
You think you are holding on to something, but you’re not.
I came down with that condition on both hands years ago and now have to use dictation software since I am a writer. But the software doesn’t work with most other software, so I had to leave my amazing, full time job working for one of the country’s top luxury real estate developers.
Let’s face it … what jobs can you do these days when you can’t use the computer and type?
But my ULTIMATE dream and goal had always been to transition from 30 thirty years of coaching part-time (under the radar) to full time and on everyone’s radar, so guess what?
God redirected me forward into my dream job by closing all the other doors and windows, and I stopped the double duty of working a full time job AND a part time job!
Forced onto the bridle path that I had always dreamed of and had been diligently working towards, I got both rest AND sailed full speed ahead with my passion of coaching full time … but only AFTER I (was forced to) let go.
Let go of what? Only being willing to do it MY way! Why had I held on too tight for all those years? No wonder I lost the ability to use both my hands for my two passions; writing and riding.
Stubbornness, procrastination, and second guessing yourself will do that …
But now, I focus on how much I love coaching full time and being able to help more people! And as it usually happens when we finally let go, I wonder why I didn’t make this transition many years ago.
Riding and life are both adaptive sports. And not just for people who are disabled. Because in some ways, we ALL have our “limitations” or our past stories that are holding us back from our own high standards and reaching our goals and dreams, right?
(Or at least we are convinced that we do!)
What if you can’t do your passion … or not just do it, but to do it well and exactly as you dreamed it should be? You know, YOUR way.
What if you can’t afford that horse, those shows or THAT magical trainer?
What if you’re not as good as you used to be because you developed an incurable medical issue or had an injury?
What if you HAVE “aged out” of a division or lost financial support or sponsorships?
Fear of loss of identity. Loss of occupation. Or as Tony Robbins would say, dealing with “the pain of your blueprint (how it was ‘supposed to be’) not matching your current situation.”
You have to let go of that blueprint. Maybe even that identity.
All this reminds me of Robins Williams losing his humor (identity) and his occupation as he struggled with his rehab issues. And Prince and Robbins Williams didn’t even have to worry about money!!! It was just their identity, reputation, and blueprint that they needed to adjust.
All or nothing thinking is not “being in the solution.” That’s NOT a winning strategy!
Neither is staying stuck. Or pressing the “pause” button while you think about it … using the old, dysfunctional “software” in your brain.
Which usually results in psyching yourself into believing that you will take different action … just not right now. “Maybe sometime in the future.”
“Someday soon” …
THE BIG LIE. How many careers, relationships, and athletic goals were ruined with THAT one?
Where have you stalled out using THAT strategy before?
(Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, right?)
We have to keep reinventing ourselves. It’s like steering a sailboat. When you lose the wind, figure out how to adjust the direction of the boat and how to set the sails to find and hold the wind to make it work for you. Then reevaluate your progress and adjust some more.
What works NOW? TODAY? Where are the immediate opportunities even though they may not be “perfect’ or you don’t have a crystal ball as to how it will turn out in the long run?
What CAN you do other than stall out and give in? Or staying stuck and then coping with the pain of the current reality using mind altering substances?
(That includes food and shopping … not just drinking and drugs!)
Another Tony Robbins quote to remember when negative things happen in your life: “What if life is not happening TO you, but rather FOR you?”
Keep praying, get creative, and stay focused not only on hope for a new and better outcome, but making a decision that you have the power to succeed and will take the action to MAKE it happen.
Get rid of the delusional thinking that some action is better than none. That is B.S. Yes, you may be one millimeter away from everything changing. And yes, the game is won in inches.
But that is with A LOT of CONSISTENT and EFFECTIVE inches moving in the CORRECT direction!
It doesn’t happen without those inches adding up to taking the right MASSIVE action. Every day.
Dabbling or time invested in massive “busy work” is NOT a success ritual. Put that sign all over your house. And all over your barn.
What good is it to put in the time to train a horse (or yourself) incorrectly? Or to train correctly, but inconsistently? (Which is the same as incorrectly, right?)
How long will you continue to try a training method that is clearly NOT working for your horse before you adapt and try something new? How long will you allow yourself to continue that bad habit when you ride? (Like looking down instead of keeping your eyes up?)
Or grabbing at the reins and holding on for dear life instead of letting go?
How long does it take you to adjust your horse when you are in the show ring jumping?
How long will you wait to make the CRUCIAL change to your current approach to a jump?
(And/or your current approach to life?)
Can you only figure out the solution AFTER you crash into the jump and have solid proof on video as to what you should have done?
Or are you willing to have faith and just quickly try what seems to be the best solution before you are hit with the consequences?
Listen, in riding and in life, the right timing is EVERYTHING! You need to know when to adjust and to act on that! Quickly!
Research has shown that the most successful people make decisions quickly. Maybe that is because they have trained their brains to do so and also because they have the confidence and skills to QUICKLY adapt if they need to!
They don’t see every decision as the end all “make it or lose.” There IS life after every decision. (With a few obvious exceptions, of course.)
They also have the mindset that sometimes we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. So, for them, every decision or thing that they try is a “win-win.” Because they will reframe it, learn from it all, and make it so!
In other words, they don’t fear failures. They leverage it so that they can keep moving forward into success!
(That being said, it is prudent to make calculated risks and to not throw caution to the wind!)
But watch out for that old software that will short circuit your brain by triggering a life-altering and dream-destroying case of “analysis paralysis.” It’s just another name for fear.
Detours are put on your bridle path for a reason. People are put on your bridle path for a reason.
The next steps you are supposed to make are the ones that will help you to arrive at a better destination.
Let go of holding on so tightly to your “old life,” your old identity or your old ways of going through life. Adjust the sails, find a new bridle path, reinvent and rebrand yourself, and utilize all the help along the way.
Let go. Jump in the game and jump over the hurdles. And enjoy the ride!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Nancy Dye is an equestrian breakthrough mindset coach and an emotional strength and resilience trainer helping people to transform the quality of their riding and their lifestyles.
Nancy was trained as a strategic interventionist from the official coach training school of Tony Robbins and has over 30 years as a change agent; shifting people into peak performance.
Nancy specializes in solving the puzzle of why people are not performing at their best and customizing the right strategy for “jumping over” adversity. She handles all areas of an equestrian’s mindset to include first, their riding performance.
Next, she uses the same techniques and strategies to help people with their relationships, career, health and transitioning through life stages.
With a past career in corporate sales and as a luxury lifestyle Realtor, Nancy has been coached by some of the top high-performance sales trainers in the corporate world, as well as by some of the most elite coaches in the world of sports. Nancy redesigns the inner lives of athletes, executives, entrepreneurs, and elite military and veterans.
Nancy is married to Jack Miles, a former Olympian gymnast who is inducted into four athletic Hall of Fames. For one-on-one peak performance coaching or information on her workshops or group riding clinics, Nancy can be reached at NancyDyeResults@gmail.com.